Saturday, June 13, 2009

East Coast to West Coast Executive's Translation Guide

I found this in my archives, from the late 1980s. It's mostly (but not entirely) tongue in cheek.

East Coast to West Coast
Executive's Translation Guide

Absolutely no Maybe
Action item for Joe by 2/12 Joe's working on the problem
Bozo Subcontractor
Brawl Design Review
Dictator Facilitator
Do it and do it now Can you sign up for this program
Do it right or you're fired I'm confident in you
F--- off Trust me
Follow the spec Is there a spec?
Get out of my office Let's get a consensus on this one
He's a jerk He's not signed up to our plan
He's a subordinate He's a team player
I'll cover your a-- Consider me your resource
Ignore him he's new I'm bringing you up to speed
Local bar Offsite facility
Oh sh-- Thanks for bringing that to my attention
Overdesigned Robust
Punch his lights out Constructive confrontation
Shut the f--- up Thank you for your input
Shut up a minute Let me share this with you
That's totally incompetent Let me build on that point
Unemployed Consulting
Overbudget On schedule
Underbudget We haven't started yet
We finished early <No translation>
We're done How do you feel about that
What's wrong with you I certainly understand your feelings
Where is the spec? What is a spec?
Where's the schedule What is the game plan
Yes Maybe
Your plan sucks Let me share my feelings on this plan

1 comment:

MiaZoe said...

Hahaha! This is so great! Having lived on the east coast for most of my life and moved to the west coast 6 years ago, I am constantly frustrated by the lack of people who will just say what they mean!