Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Heard about these kids on the radio

Less of a Lie

It wasn't love or even
sex she wanted; she already had
her lovers.

He didn't want
children. What he wanted was
the housing stipend
so he could move off the base.

What she wanted was the fabulous health plan.
So when he proposed
on bended knee (rum and Coke
in hand), she said Yes to
a connection of convenience.

Their only kiss
was in Las Vegas, after the ceremony. But
as he left for war, she asked,
"Are you afraid?"

"Can't be," he said.
"Or you'd be paralyzed."

The war
isn't so far away from her now.

She asked the doctor for
contraceptives.
But everybody at the base hospital knows her husband
is overseas.

She hadn't realized
she would feel so... so...
awkward.



I heard about them on the radio,
these children with no idea
about marriage
or partnership.

But to be honest, did I know
what I was getting into, 19 years ago?
Did she?
We both wanted love
and sex,
affection and passion,
togetherness and
commitment.

Back then we were mostly ignorant of
each other; now we are
less ignorant.

She had a long day yesterday
and was sitting up in bed
but I wanted sleep.
I put my head on her lap
and dozed.

I will not write what happened next
(it's not what you think)
but this morning, I felt sad about those
children. I hope
their convenient arrangement
will become more real, that
the wisps of marriage
that only haunt them now
will become solid,
that their vows will change them, that
their lives will overlap and intertwine.

That their marriage will become
Less of a lie.

And for all our marriages

Amen

I didn't want to sound holier-than-they. I wanted to give the feeling of being what I hope is the same journey toward oneness, that although we had a bit of a headstart in that direction we are not there yet.
Well, what can you do on a 20-minute train ride, especially if you have a day job?

("Probably better than that" is not what I was looking for)

As a friend of mine put it tactfully, "you're a good programmer."

And so to work.

1 comment:

Sheri! said...

Hi Daddy!
I <3 (that's a heart sideways) your blog.
Please, someone else(s) leave a comment or two!
Sheri!